Squarey Monster 117

Today's monster (actually yesterday's monster - man, am I a slacker or what?) is Gargor, a friendly little dude you definitely want in your life.

Gargor

This is a monster you definitely want to have around. His horns look dangerous, but they’re actually there to help you stay in place when you stand up in the bath or take a shower. Gargor is a Sliplessagriptic, a microscopic creature who works with millions of his best friends to stay under your feet when you walk on slippery surfaces. They only like to work with bare feet, though, so don’t expect them to be around when you slip on the ice.

Monster 110 (Tango-go)

Today's monster is another G.Mod. Orange you glad you didn't eat him?

Tango-go

This creature is an arrange-a-tang of the G.Mod genus. Typically an arrange-a-tang is a citrus creature who can shape-shift, or “arrange” itself into any shape to suit any meal. They’re goal in life is pretty much to be eaten; so as genetically modified fruit monsters they’ll hide in recipes, and wait for you. Tango-go in particular likes party food. Unfortunately for him, since very few people have good, nutritious food at parties he remains uneaten. Fortunately for you his G.Mod horns won’t get you.

Mac desktop monster

Vacation monster

Squarey Monster 85 (socks monster)

Waiting out Hurricane Irene in a Richmond, Virginia hotel. Turns out socks stick to their walls.

Squarey Monster 70 (Banangerrr)

This is yesterday's Squarey Monster. Blogger posting was disabled last night :(

Watch out for those G.Mods! They're dangerous! Especially the ones with no arms. They rely heavily on their ability to CHOMP!

Banangerrr

This rotten banana lost his brothers and sisters, and he is angry! He’s been knick-named Banangerrr for good reason. One at a time his conjoined siblings were surgically detached, and kidnapped (presumed eaten!). He’s also upset because he’s a G.Mod (genetically modified food monster), and he’s rotting anyway. He thought he would stay firm and yellow, but he’s turning brown. He’d like to retire in a banana split some day, but it doesn’t look promising because of his attitude…that, and he’s rotten, and all.

Squarey Monster 62 (heating duct creature)

This heating duct is just outside my studio, and I thought it needed a little dressing up. Drew up some monster parts, printed them on magnetic paper, and *swak swak*!

What's pretty cool, is that no one has taken down my Dodger emergency light. You can see him down the hall a bit.

Squarey Monster 61 (a Frombie named Stan)

Today's Squarey Monster is influenced by my recent stand pipe finds. They can be so expressive!

Stan

Every once in a while there are scraps of metal and hardware that come together and form life. No one knows how this happens, but it’s true! The result looks a lot like a robot, but that’s not what they are at all. They’re called Frombies because nobody knows where they’re from, and they act like zombies. Stan is made from water works parts. He just goes around looking for water all the time. That’s all he wants. On hot days he can be heard to moan, “Raaaaiins!”

Squarey Monster 57 (a Fiendtique)

Today's Squarey Monster is a classic Fiendtique.

Vintagia

There is a secret society of black and white Squarey Monsters called Classique Fiendtiques. They hold allegiance to the idea that monsters should be black & white like the ones in old monster movies. Vintagia has a specific hobby of devouring as many old monster movies as he can, sucking up all kinds of trivial information about them. He knows the names of all the best drive-in monster movies, and he enjoys nothing as much as sharing them with you if you treat him to a bucket of popcorn.

Squarey Monster 49 (BBQ Monster)

Squarey Monster 46 (wired)

Fails left and right. I swear I emailed this to post yesterday.


Update, July 28, 2011:
Considering I posted this ten days ago, I thought it was pretty cool that this one lasted as long as it did on my front stoop. My dog-walker posts random pictures on Facebook sometimes, and just a couple of days ago he posted this (obviously he's a much better photographer than I am):

Squarey Monster 43

Squarey Monster 41

Squarey Monster 29 (Gruffin)

Feeling grumpy? Nobody is as grumpy as today's Squarey Monster.

Gruffin

The gruffest of Squarey Trolls, Gruffin is a grumpy facade who is known for hiding happy monsters and happy feelings under Buffaloney Bridge. There are ways to get through to him, but there is no tried and true method. He’s unpredictable. Tell him a joke he’s heard before, and he might snap you in two. Best to avoid him all together, but if you do run into him (or feel the urge to make him release a happy monster) be prepared for an earth-rattling, “Harumff!!!”

Squarey Monster 24 (kitchen monster)

Stuff from around the kitchen. Mostly dog treats. And, yes those glasses are from around the kitchen. I found them hanging on a sidewalk grate.

Update June 29, 2011:
My explanation of why the glasses are in the kitchen as a logical statement seems a bit weird. I'll leave it that way. The southwestern coasters have fringe on two sides each, and I thought this guy would look fuzzy with the white fringe. Instead he looks like an elder warrior…and he's smart because he's wearing glasses ;)

Here's a pulled out pic:

Squarey Monster 23 (an obliterataur)

Meet today's Squarey Monster. He's a friend, but be wary of all his "help."

Brub

Meet the only known obliterataur. His name is Brub. At least that’s what we think his name is. That’s all he says. “Brub!” What we know about Brub is that he helps you rub out your mistakes. He recognizes when you’ve done something wrong, and he “erases” them. He’s kind of clumsy, though. Sometimes he erases too much, and sometimes his horns and teeth do more damage.

Ever see a pencil with teeth marks all over it? That’s from Brub. Keep him happy with some yummy pencil shavings, and he’ll be more careful when he “erases.”

Squarey Monster 21 (Lure)

Today's Squarey Monster is dangerous. Meet Lure, the shadow scintilla.

Lure

This is a shadow scintilla. It’s one of those Squarey Monsters you rarely see. You almost always have the feeling they’re around. A shadow scintilla’s mission is to give you ideas to manipulate you. Lure specializes in getting you to waste your time. She’s thrives on watching you procrastinate though diversion. She can distract anyone. Be careful. The only way to keep her at bay is by keeping the idea bulb above your head lit. Let it go out, and she’ll replace it with her own!

Squarey Monster 17 (Popcorn)

Update: June 20, 2010. This Squarey Monsters logo was made with popcorn before going in to see Super 8 at Cobble Hill Cinema in Brooklyn, NY. Apologies to whoever had to clean it up, though it really wasn't that much. I was surprised to find, after the movie, that the popcorn Squarey Monster was still in tact on one of the sample seats they had in the upstairs lobby...

Squarey Monster 15 (Patsy the moonscapegoat)

Need someone to take the blame for your shenanigans? Patsy, the moonscapegoat is willing to pay the price for your "mistakes!" Don't take her for granted, though. That would be bad news.

Patsy

She is a moonscapegoat. Patsy will go far and wide to take the blame for what you do wrong, but don’t take advantage. Mum is the word with her, but she can only handle so much accountability before she chases you around the world with her horns!