365 Squarey Monsters: The Truth Behind Those Halloween Masks

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When I think about what Halloween was like for me as a kid, the first thing that comes to mind is the creativity and simplicity of it ... and the non-existent budget. We didn't buy our costumes but made them at home, pulled together from whatever we had on hand.

I remember one of my friends transformed a cardboard box into a robot suit with lights (powered by a flashlight and a lot of tape). Another used face paint and a black towel to become a vampire. And there were always a few "ghosts" walking the block — simply white sheets with eyeholes.

What amazed me, even then, was how quickly those costumes changed the way we felt. That shy kid from school was suddenly as bold and booming as Frankenstein. The quiet neighbor transformed himself into a caped crusader leading the pack from house to house.

There's something about Halloween that gives us all permission to step outside of ourselves for a night and imagine who we might want to be. Maybe that's why the holiday brings such joy. It lets us play, pretend, and sometimes express what we normally keep hidden.

What do our masks really mean?

That got me thinking: Why do we love costumes so much? What is it about putting on a mask that feels so freeing?

It turns out this idea of "masking" isn't limited to Halloween. Psychologists refer to social masking as the way we alter our true behavior to fit in, to please others, or to protect ourselves.

My friend Dr. George S. Everly, Jr., a renowned psychologist, author, and professor at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, says there are several reasons we do it: to conform, to project a certain image, to meet expectations, or to avoid rejection.

In Dr. Everly's opinion, the quest for conformity and the desire to avoid rejection are the most common motivations. He adds they may sound similar, but they're not. Conformity is about a desire to be part of something to earn approval. Avoiding rejection, by contrast, is about shielding ourselves from pain. And in today's hyper-connected world, social media amplifies both.

When masks help us

In small doses, masking can help us get through the day. It can smooth over tension or help us adjust to different environments. That may be why Halloween feels so liberating. When we choose our masks, they can unlock joy, creativity, and even courage.

I remember a young girl in our neighborhood when my children were growing up. Normally quiet and reserved, she once dressed as Wonder Woman. That night, she trick-or-treated with pride and power. That shiny gold headband and plastic lasso of truth gave her something she hadn't realized she already had inside: confidence.

We see this outside of Halloween, too. A firefighter's helmet, a nurse's scrubs, or a soldier's fatigues are also masks. They help the wearers step fully into a role that serves others.

As Dr. Everly says, identity isn't static. It adapts. And when our masks are worn with purpose, they can help us become the people we want to be. He adds:

"If masking helps you become a more confident, ego-syntonic version of yourself, then it's less a disguise and more a bridge — one between who you are and who you want to be."

When masks hide what hurts

Still, there's a darker side to masking. Sometimes it serves as a protective shield. You've likely seen it in the cheerful colleague who's secretly anxious, or the friend who posts sunny photos on social media to hide loneliness, depression, or grief, to name a few examples.

When we wear the mask so often, we forget what's underneath, which can become exhausting. "Over time," Dr. Everly warns, "social masking can lead to a loss of identity, even an identity crisis."

When people feel they need to hide their true selves to avoid judgment or rejection, they risk cutting themselves off. "Authenticity is a key ingredient in resilience," Dr. Everly says. "It's what allows us to connect deeply, with others and with ourselves."

And as I often say in this space, connection starts with empathy. It's in the quiet act of checking in. Of noticing when someone might be wearing a smile that doesn't quite reach their eyes. That, too, is a kind of unmasking — and it matters.

Exploring the power of seeing and being seen

It's worth remembering that we wear masks other times of the year, too — sometimes without even realizing it.

Your job as a human (not a superhero) is to use your power to see the masks and find the people behind them. As Dr. Everly reminded me: "The act of being seen is one of the deepest affirmations of our humanity."

We all want to be seen and understood, even when we're dressed up as someone else. Whether someone is projecting or hiding, our job is simple: Connect. Notice the person behind the mask. Everyone carries something. Sometimes, a mask helps them carry it.

This season, let's try to see one another a little more clearly — masks and all.

All the best,
Jim

In this week's Power & Impact, I had the privilege of catching up with Dr. Jonathan Sackner-Bernstein, a scientist who's on the frontlines of Parkinson's disease research.

In our first talk, we explored his early challenges and the uphill fight to push new ideas forward. This time, he shares the incredible progress being made — from groundbreaking discoveries about dopamine's role to the development of a new drug formulation that's moving toward global trials. We delve into the changes in science, the resistances that still exist, and the human drive behind innovation.

Dr. Sackner-Bernstein's journey is a reminder that progress happens when passionate people refuse to stop asking "What if?"

If you're inspired by stories of resilience, science, and hope, this is an episode you won't want to miss. Share your thoughts with me at podcasts@celebrations.com.

In the news: A fragile step toward peace

I don't often write about world affairs in Celebrations Pulse, but last week brought something truly worth recognizing: the release of 20 Israelis and nearly 2,000 Palestinians.

It's a moment that reminds us how powerful progress can be when people choose dialogue over division.

My friend Jeffrey Sonnenfeld, a dean at Yale School of Management and one of the most respected voices on business and global leadership, recently captured this moment beautifully in Time magazine. His piece reflects not only on what it means for the Middle East but also for other conflict zones, including Ukraine.

A chance to win a taste of Smile Farms' harvest

As I wrote a few weeks ago, October is National Disability Employment Awareness Month. It's an important reminder of the role people with disabilities play in our lives — and the challenges they go through finding work — even when we don't recognize it.

As you know, my family created Smile Farms a decade ago to help people with disabilities find meaningful employment — people like my brother Kevin. If you've been following Celebrations Pulse, you'll know that Smile Farms has expanded from agriculture to hospitality and beyond.

You've read about Smile Farms. Now, here's your chance to taste it! To celebrate their latest harvest, the program is holding a giveaway of its Heat with Heart hot sauce. Five lucky winners will receive two-packs of the culinary delight. To enter, just follow the link below.

Last call: Share your spook-tacular rituals

With Halloween almost here, I'd love to hear how you get into the spirit. Tell me about your favorite costume from childhood or the house that always handed out the best candy. Or maybe you've hosted a costume party or pulled off a spooky prank or two that (mostly) went as planned.

Each of us celebrates the holiday a little differently. Some go all-out with decorations, while others cue up a scary movie marathon or craft the perfect playlist for trick-or-treaters. However you mark the occasion, I'd love to hear about it.

Send me your favorite Halloween stories, traditions, or memories, and I'll feature a few in our special Halloween edition of the Celebrations Pulse.

And if you're still looking for a way to add a dramatic touch to your home or festivities, take a look at these striking Black Roses — perfect for setting the mood for a night filled with mystery and magic.

The power of Oktoberfest

If you live in Germany, you've already celebrated Oktoberfest, which is the world's most famous beer festival, traditionally held in late September and early October.

The good news for those of us here in the States? We stretch the celebration through October!

Last weekend, I went to an Oktoberfest out in Westhampton Beach on the eastern end of Long Island. The whole town turned out. Main Street was lined with tents serving giant pretzels and savory bratwurst, kids laughing, and neighbors greeting one another. You could feel that special energy that happens when people come together to celebrate a tradition that started over 200 years ago… and thousands of miles away.

That's what I love about gatherings like this: They give us an excuse to come together and to celebrate, no formal invitation needed. Sometimes all it takes is the promise of delicious food, tasty beverages, and good company.

Here's to finding those excuses to gather. Prost!

Sunday, October 19, 2025

The Truth Behind Those Halloween Masks

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